Only Ever Good: MIIIA Talent Show

Isaiah 26:7-8: “But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them. Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify your name.”

My mom named me Mary. I don’t remember my youngest years, but she told me stories. Stories of laughter and fun. Stories of hard times that grew me more and more into a young woman desperately seeking to serve Yahweh. I yearned for Him. I noticed the other girls my age, how sometimes I felt a bit out of place, like they didn’t quite get me. Why did my heart often move into deeper wells of Him? The last thing I wanted was to seem better than anyone else; I am no different than anyone else. I struggle. I make mistakes. Lots of mistakes. 

I had absolutely no inkling of what God was preparing for me. I can picture every last moment when the angel came to me. He told me not to be afraid, but I was terrified to the core. He told me I had found favor with God. Me? Favor with God? How could this be? He told me I would give birth to a son. Jesus. 

I knew the prophecies. I knew the hope we all held, sometimes by only a small thread in the harsh world of Roman men. Men who jeered. Men who stole. Men who controlled. 

And Joseph. A man who never jeered. A man who never stole. A man who never controlled. He chose to stay with me when all the world said to leave. My fast companion, my close friend on earth. I really had no idea all the struggles we would encounter along the way. But when he handed me my son, I named him Jesus, just as God had said. 

Isaiah prophesied that if we are righteous, our way would not be steep and rough. Standing at the foot of the cross felt beyond steep and beyond rough. He was my son. I loved Him more than my own flesh. And even as I never could fully understand his life on earth, I certainly was not prepared to have Him go. 

A smooth path….looking back, it could seem riddled with harsh mountain summits and deep pits of valleys. But looking forward shows me Isaiah was right. Had it not been for Him, I would have never made it. Turns out it was smooth enough after all. 

My God is good. So good. Every bump on the path, every struggle along the way, every heartache that I thought would break me, He was with me through it all. My good, good God. My precious Jesus. Only ever good.

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Only ever good. 

My mom named me Lesa. I don’t remember my youngest years, but she told me stories. Stories that made me laugh, and stories that made me cry. My stubborn, independent heart pitted against her deep love for me to become more like Him. She only ever wanted the best for me, and she knew the best was Him.

She expected things from me. Going to all the church events. Attending church camp every summer. Doing kind things for others. I had a healthy dose of discipline and deserved way more than I got. But she always had one goal in mind-that I would be just who God made me to be.

Somewhere along the way, I got lost. Pressures of the world. Desires of my flesh. Insecurities of my heart. One day I woke up and felt very ashamed of who I had become. This was not who God ever asked me to be.

I wish I could give detailed directions for the changed route in my life, but I cannot. I can remember many raging wars in every fiber of my being during that phase of my life. How could I trust a God who seemed so distant? How could I love a God who let my mom be so sick? How could I obey a God whose laws seemed so strict? How could I surrender my life to Him when everything about life seemed steep and rough?

Slowly, bit by bit, the waging war turned to a softened heart. Somehow He finally reached into all of me and whispered His love into a very deep piece of me that had been broken for too long. It was like a drop of rain to the buried seed that was all but dried up, but that small ounce of His goodness brought the dead back to life. He gave me enough strength to start to rise from the ashes and break through the hardened earth so I could once again receive the warmth of the Son.

My growth was slow and gradual with a growing season much beyond 120 day corn. I am growing still. 

If I may offer an honest moment. Some days I still feel empty when I come before the Lord. Some days I lie awake and plead for Him to come because this life here does not feel smooth. Some days my head knows I should glorify His name but my heart feels the weight of endless hurt surrounding me and I struggle to breathe. 

But God. A good friend in her testimony used that phrase, a phrase we are all likely familiar with. It is so true. But God.

But God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy and grace and love comes to me every single day to meet me where I am. He comes to show me that He really is making my way smooth even when I think it looks like an impossible summit. He comes to be the Waymaker, promising to move on my behalf even when I cannot feel it or see it.

Mission III Family, I so pray you know His goodness. I pray you know His goodness does not mean pleasantries of the world. His goodness comes from a well that runs much deeper with more abundance and beauty than you can fathom. His goodness means vast mountains, soaring wings, rich fullness….It also means low valleys, tired feet, exhausted hearts. But His goodness comes with the best gift ever. Him. The very gift we celebrate every year come December.

One year ago, I came to this night with a heavy but full heart. My sweet momma who named me Lesa was in her final hours. For 27 years she suffered from a failing body, and more so in her last time here on earth….I shudder to recall how hard life was for her physically. But I rejoice because through it all, He was there. He held my sweet momma. He held my dear daddy. He held my sisters and my nieces and nephews and my three children and countless others who loved my momma well. 

Mission III Family, He held me then. He holds me now. And He holds you too.

I don’t know what your heart faces in this season of life, but I know the One who knows. I know the One who holds. And I know the One whose love far outreaches any place you’ve been.

Can I just say My God is so good! Oh, He’s so so so so good. He’s all I ever want, and all I ever need. He’s all you should ever want because He’s all you will ever need. 

Only ever good.