“I will tell them…”
These are the words I heard this morning as I was listening to a new song from the Passion Movement called “I’ve Witnessed It.” As I heard the words wash over me, I couldn’t help but hear God say it is time to break the silence.
The last time I wrote was in September. As I related our theme of ‘Joy’ for the year, I proclaimed that we would intentionally speak joy into every part of this school year.
I would like to say that has been an easy task the last few months for me personally, but it has proved more difficult than words can express.
For many nights and weeks after my mom’s passing, I would wake up at night and see visions of all the really hard things we endured as we cared for her. Hugging her as I would pull her up to sit by her bedside and whispering to her about my love for her. Having to do everything for her-dress her, bathe her, feed her, give her shots, the list goes on and on. Then it got even harder as the cancer spread to her brain. She would do things so far out of her normal mind that it was hard to hold it together in her midst. We had one day when it had gotten really bad and the imprints from that time are still so vivid in my mind. My heart aches and breaks thinking about all she went through here on this earth and how helpless I felt because I wanted nothing more than to take it all away for her.
Watching a loved one die a slow death brings more heartache than I thought I could bear. But by the grace of God, that is not the end of this story.
Monday at PE, I told the kids with great and honest joy in my soul that I feel like I am coming back. As PE time moved forward, I found myself laughing a lot and loving on students a lot and just really enjoying being in the moment as we played games together. One student sent me a message later that day; she told me how glad she was that I am back because she missed me. I couldn’t help but think, “Me too.”
Why do I tell you all this? Because I will tell you and anyone else who will listen that none of this is about me. It is a testimony about our Great God who is so so good.
I will tell you and everyone else… or as the song I heard this morning said, “I will tell them…”
I will them that God is faithful. I will tell how He held me closer than I can express through my mom’s 27 years of illness, and He especially held me since September when we got the firm diagnosis of the final illness that claimed her worldly body. I will tell of His deep and abounding love for me and my mom and my family. I will tell about the afternoon when my sisters and I spontaneously held a worship service at her bedside and sang our hearts out so that she would remember the One who loves her most, so that we would remember the One who loves us all most. I will tell about the beautiful years I got to have my mom here on earth with me and about the joyous days to come when we will dance together in the Lord’s presence. And I will tell you that if you have not surrendered your life to Christ, what on earth are you waiting for? This world offers nothing in comparison to Him.
You see, God reminded me this morning that I should tell of Him for every single day for the rest of my life because He alone is all I need.
While I was in Costa Rica two weeks ago, I had one day that was particularly very hard. As I sat in the room where I was staying, weeping and longing for home, I heard God speak into me. He asked me very simply, “Am I enough?” If my children leave me or no longer love me or choose others over me, if I lose all my family and am destitute like Job, will God be enough for me?
The God I know and love truly is enough. And as I came to the point where I could say yes to Him, He then reminded me that coming to that place is what enables me to come to an even better place of community with others. When I come to others with no expectation to fill me because God has more than filled me with Him, it is then that I can truly experience joy and love and life and laughter with the people He so desperately wants me to connect with. That is simply and fully what happened in Costa Rica and that is simply and fully what happened at Mission III on Monday.
Because of God’s great love, I am redeemed and restored and ready. Because of God’s great love, you too can be redeemed, restored, and ready. Ready for whatever He brings next, knowing He will walk every step of the way with you. No matter what comes, He promises to never leave you nor forsake you.
As I shared at our Christmas Talent show, that is good news of great joy for all peoples. So what on earth are we waiting for?
It is time to tell them all.
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